The addition is really coming along and we are only a couple more weeks away from delighting in our new space... of FINALLY having Isabel up on the main floor with us again!!! I am so excited about this next phase!
We are still waiting to hear back from Children's Special Services about funding the lift system, the wheelchair ramp and the extra costs involved in customizing the HUGE shower... but the request was put in back in August so we are hopeful that we'll get SOME news very soon. (Time frames in our rural area are VERY different than the time frames I was used to in dealing with the special services program in the city!)
We have DOUBLED our initial budget and Duane is quite down about his dream of farming full time instead of balancing it with his city of Winnipeg job. There is a great deal of guilt here that I am learning to sort through... I cannot help but wonder what dreams he could have accomplished if I had not come into the picture. Not a pleasant thought but my mind has a mind of its own sometimes... hee hee, that just does not sound right.
But such is the way it goes when raising a family. My peace of mind comes from knowing I came into this relationship debt-free and with a very nice amount of equity from selling my home. So perhaps it all balances out in the end? I can always pray that is the case.
This past year has certainly been a challenging one. Duane and I went on our first date in nearly a year on the 7th (yes, our four year anniversary from the first day we met and "knew"). It was the most perfect date! We went to see the movie Avatar which is officially my favourite movie! It was positively BRILLIANT, breathtakingly beautiful, truly a piece of art. But enough on that tangent... it was just a real gift to reconnect with the love of my life.
He has been so present this past year as we have worked diligently together in caring for Ethan (and the other kids, too). But this meant that the farm was put on the back burner... a painful experience for Duane.
You have got to see the way his eyes light up when he talks about his days of farming with his dad. Those two were two peas in a pod. From the age of three onwards, Duane was pretty much Harry's second skin! He recounts getting off the school bus in grade three, drinking a cup of milk and eating a few fudgeos, putting on his coveralls and finding dad out in the field so he could help him work. He says the two of them seldom had to speak... a quiet understanding between them (unless they got into an argument... look out! The Vaags voice would carry right through to the neighbours!). Duane even tried convincing his father that he could quit school and work all the time... when he was in GRADE 5! Harry in all his wisdom told Duane that if he really wanted to farm for the love of it, he would need a full-time job. To this day, Duane thanks his father for that advice and for his cousin who got him interested in becoming a firefighter.
When I ask Duane what he did for fun or as playtime, he replies quite simply "working with my dad was ALL the fun I needed."
Duane has often said about his own honour and integrity "I can only hope to ride on the coat tails of my father's honour. He was always just and fair with anyone we ever dealt with."
It's fathers like these that make the transition of believing in a heavenly father quite effortless. Sometimes I wonder if my own faith in God is somewhat shallow because I have not had to overcome a horrific experience with an abusive or absent father in order to TRUST a heavenly one. How many of you reading out there have been deeply harmed by your supposed earthly father? I ache for you! I wish I could have shared mine with you or Duane's!
But how precious your faith must be to God! Your faith would have far greater depth than mine could hope to reach! Bless you for the journey of healing you have embarked upon or maybe you are on the verge of embarking upon it! Know this, that I could only aspire to have as meaningful a faith as yours! And know that my prayers will find you, whoever you are, that you may journey this UNALONE! (I know, it's not a word but it fits here).
Sheesh, what began as one entry has turned out to be another! See what I mean by "coherent thoughts?"
On that note, have a blessed day! I am called to be your servant. So let me pray for you until it is revealed to me how I can better serve you. God bless... from the bottom of my heart!