Search This Blog

Friday, 30 October 2009

My little Poo-Bear

What is it with children and their innate attraction to bodily wastes? What makes them so drawn to it? Yes, it is a natural process and things would be far more "gross" if they didn't "happen" but why do they have to try to play with it? Smear it? Taste it? And why can't I seem to have a dinner conversation without bringing up something to do with our bodily functions?? Shouldn't I have outgrown this by now???

Anika's red potty is rather mobile so sometimes it is in the living room so she can watch Veggie Tales for ten minutes while waiting for something to "pass". Other times, it is in the kitchen where she can visit with me... I know, sounds gross, but we try NOT to make it a big deal. The problem is that when Anika gets up to let me know she is "all done", Ethan's radar picks up on the unguarded waste bucket and makes an unnatural beeline for it! And if I am not quick enough, he joyously smacks his hands around in it or picks up the little bucket and spills it all over... at which point he then plays in it.


I need sonic ears to hear that little skin-peeling-off-plastic sound to catch Anika before she gets up and say "YEP.. OK... just hang on, Anika... mommy's coming... don't get up!" Either that or distract Ethan with something else before tending to Anika.

Who knew potty time could be so mentally exhausting?

And then there are the "accident" moments to which Ethan is ALSO creepily tuned into. I was on the phone with my brother when Anika came running into the kitchen looking panicked saying "I gotta go PEEEEEEeeeee!!" just as it started POURING and man do I mean POURING down her legs! Her natural inclination? To step backwards as she watches the waterfall of urine, tracking it all over the floor with every fascinated step back she takes.

My inclination? "What the heck? Did you drink a pool?? When WAS the last time I sat you on the potty?" Guilty bad mother moment as it dawns on me that it has been 4 hours!!! DOH!

At this point, I am on a CORDED phone (because my darling hubby doesn't want anyone in our house to die of brain cancer from electromagnetic waves pulsating through our heads - darn his love for our well being & lack of convenience!) so I am standing helplessly watching this all play out. I reach pathetically under the sink for napkins to start cleaning up the mess only to hear the lightning speed thumping of a crawling boy (who has clearly picked up the scent of bodily waste??). I literally throw the phone down yelling "NOOOOOOoooooo!!!" (as I run in place like in the cartoons) as Ethan barrels through the little pacific ocean on our kitchen floor!

Anika keeps stepping away from the commotion so our little ocean is turning into a river as I reach and set her down in place while scooping Ethan with my free arm and knocking the roll of paper towel strategically to land on the mess... as I wonder, hmmm, should I put these "used" paper towels in with recycling or not?

I quickly yelp towards the dangling phone to say "I'll just be a minute!" as I strip down both kids, wipe up the mess, and yes - wash my hands (and Ethan's).

Ay caramba... anyone else feeling pooped? Pardon the pun?

Once again, never a dull moment in our house. Not even for one cotton-pickin' minute! Sigh.


Anonymous said...

I got to the second paragraph of this post to look up & see Eric peeing on my livingroom floor. How appropriate!


Anonymous said...

Holy Toledo!
Your Cousin,

Anonymous said...

That's so funny. I laughed out loud several times while reading it (and I am feeling quite ill- so that is saying a lot).
The way you described Ethan is so similar to what my boy does too. It's like they have superpowers to sense when they have a 'new' something to play with/in. YUCK!