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Thursday, 4 June 2009

The tooth be told

WARNING: Due to some humble graphic description, reader discretion is advised! :)

Two bottom baby teeth plus two top teeth (in a matter of two weeks, I might add) equals a very sore mama! Oh how I dread this stage of nursing... and to think there are women out there who go and get their nipples pierced ON PURPOSE! Just breastfeed, people!

I am having one of those humble days... you know, the one where you look in the mirror and think "I remember a time when I didn't have to LIFT my breasts to put on a bra." Nobody warns you that your children will suck the life out of you AND your breasts! How this is physiologically possible is beyond me. Shouldn't there still be milk ducts and fat deposits? What's with "all the skin and no filler"?

I know, some of your stomachs may be churning at these descriptions but one of my friends literally had me on the ground laughing when she gave me the best post-motherhood breast descriptor of all time. And I quote:

"They've become beaver tails with woodticks."

Ok, if that's not disturbing enough an image for you, let's add the wonderful component of stretch marks. Oh yes... I believe when God cursed Eve with the whole "I shall greatly increase thy pain in childbirth" I think He was referring to the pain of losing our bodies AND gaining STRETCH MARKS!

And isn't hind sight a wonderful curse in these moments? Suddenly your recollection of what your body USED to be like is much better than what it actually was! But truthfully, upon looking at old pictures you think "why on earth didn't I celebrate what I had while I still had it?"

Yet even as I type this, there may come a day where breast cancer has claimed my beaver tails and I will look back at this time and wonder why I had complained at all.

And Zebras are beautiful animals so why should I be ashamed that from my belly-button to my upper thighs, I just so happen to be part-zebra? When the light hits just right (and it's usually candle light... sigh) you can see every amazing stretch mark and the glorious story of how you gained too much weight during your pregnancy.

Mothers are the queens of humble pie! If humility is not brought upon from your own children, it is brought upon by your children's friends! I still remember picking Isabel up from daycare when I was battling acne and one kid came up to me and asked "How come you always have chicken pox?"

Thanks, kid.

So the tooth be told... now you know why there are no recent pictures of me on my blog. Until I find peace with the fact that I am half a zoo with my beaver tails & zebra stripes and post-pregnancy pear-figure, I will be hiding behind whatever baggy clothes I can find (which are limited these days!). I hope I can celebrate the sacrifice my body made to bring forth & sustain life as my husband sees it. But even though he sees the beauty beyond the reality of my motherhood physique, I still miss FEELING sexy.

Bottom line, my hubby loves all of me as I am (or is that just something husbands say to keep their wives happy?). I truly feel cherished and he recognizes the sacrifices made for our children. This alone is a gift of unconditional love. I suppose this means that should he go bald and lose all his teeth, I will have to be just as loving! Not that there is anything wrong with toothless bald men (hope you're not one reading this right now)!

I seek peace with myself and a celebration for the fact that I CAN have children even if they come out all eczema-ish. And what purpose would I have to my life if I did not have these beautiful children? Funny how I feel like I lose my identity temporarily in raising young children yet I feel as though I would not have ANY identity without them!

To all you mothers out there, I am proud of you! I hope you are celebrating YOUR life and YOUR sacrifices! May you feel fruitful (and I am not referring to feeling like the shape of a fruit) and may you feel blessed. We are women, hear us ROAR (or whimper when we look in the mirror). And by all means, stay away from nipple piercings! Luv you all!


Anonymous said...

Rita, I'm roaring...with laughter! Thanks for the wailing and moaning and gnashing of teeth - helps me tremendously in accepting the reality of my 60-yr old body! I once heard a delightful elder describe her breasts being in a race to her belly-button and loved her humour as well.


Anonymous said...

What!? No mention of the pilsbury dough belly that most of us sport after having babies?? And the feet that stay a few sizes larger than pre-pregnancy feet (not to mention the size they do reach during pregnancy!)?? And the fact that hemmorhoids never really go away?? And...(oh, the list goes on & on):-) After having Collin, I remember being mortified when I asked my ob/gyn when I could expect my hemmorhoids to heal, and she answered "once you've got them, they're there to stay; you'll just have to manage the inflammation"!! :-O Ohhhhh, the untold truths about motherhood...

Your descriptions are truly hilarious, Rita! You are too funny!! I'm reminded of my carload of women roaring with laughter as you described how they looked like tear drops when you bent forward! Or the time you, Linda and I were learning about chakras in Pierre Lessard's workshop. He had said that the heart chakra is right between the breasts. We looked at each other and said, "um, no, that would be my navel chakra between my breasts"!! :-) We laughed so hard during break (about that and about Linda's friend who was always stuck having to sketch the butt of a chubby nude male model in art class), I almost peed my pants - yet another piece of the aftermath of giving birth! HA! Do your kegel exercises Moms!!

Diane xoxo

Cindy said...

Well truth be told beaver tails are better than mosquito bites!! :-) (Laughing hard!)

Thanks for the laugh Rita! Hope all is well with you and yours!
Your Cousin,

Sylvie said...

Rita you have a wonderful gift! You are hilarious, and have a fantastic way of expressing yourself! It's so great to hear stories of motherhood, told in this way!