Holy smokes! I think we must have some pretty serious prayer warriors reading these entries because Sivana was a completely different baby ALL DAY!
She slept, she nursed the best she has in weeks, she went back to sleep with barely a peep when it was time for naps and has been in a good mood when awake. THAT IS AMAZING!!! Whatever you are all doing out there, keep it up! And THANK YOU so much for the incredible support and ray of hope!
Yesterday, I nearly booked Duane's vasectomy appointment... We both just felt like we could not bring another child into this world who could potentially suffer health issues. Obviously there is something not quite right (health-wise) with our genetics coming together (although cuteness factor is a roaring 110%)! Duane and I looked at each other while I was sitting & nursing Sivana today and he sighed heavily and said "remember when we would sing together? I really thought we would do a lot more of that."
Yes, the song in my heart is still there and vibrant but the reality of this phase in our lives has pushed it off to the side for now, it seems.
And with that, I began to sing "How Great Thou Art" and the beautiful sound of my husband's voice resonated with mine in harmony as we did nothing but praise God together in our exhaustion. To love God with my best friend is the greatest gift in my life (other than my children, of course). When life feels like it is just too much, we will stare at the ceiling together, reach out and hold each others' hand and begin to pray... thanking God for our many blessings, and asking Him to take hold of our hearts and any resistance we have where His will is concerned.
Then we let go of the need to be strong enough to face life using our own strength and can rest peacefully in His. And then amazing things happen!
Your prayers uplift us and we are humbled by the love and grace you send our way. When I am at my weakest, you are amazing with your support. Some of you have emailed me directly with such beautiful words of encouragement. I pray that you all have access to that same kind of network... prayers, support, and infinite love! And may you be uplifted in your own challenges and know that you are safe in the hands of a loving Creator. One who knows all too well just how much you can handle (despite your protests) and trusts you to embrace the challenges that will make you all that He knows you can be.
May this reach out to you with the hope you have helped restore in my heart... Your prayers have brought me rest today and a light that shines bright with promise of a world that is still good. I love you for that. By the grace of God, I love you all.