That's something worth fighting for. Yet, ironically, being honest with each other is avoided as though it was the plague itself. I do my best to speak truthfully. This, by no stretch of the imagination, means that I do this well... but I seek to consciously to do it from the heart, from a place of love that believes truth between people is something worth fighting for.
Afterall, the saying isn't "Run away from what's right!" The saying uses the word "Fight" as though it knows there will be upheaval, maybe even opposition, but one worth persevering through to the end BECAUSE it is worth it.
The greatest place of love I can think of, is that from a parent's heart. We, as parents, fight for what's right for our children, which means there is often a lot of fighting WITH our children, particularly when they are older and seem to believe that discipline is a language of "that sucks, man" instead of "hey, thanks for wanting me to be the best I can be BECAUSE you know I am better than these choices I've made or am about to make."
God himself makes it clear that His love for us is evident BECAUSE of His laws and consequently, His discipline. He knows first hand what we CAN be and when our choices keep us from being what He created us to be... glorifying to Him. Going back to Torah (the first five books of the bible, meaning "God's instructions") has revealed to me the greatest love story from our Creator. And even as I read some of those rules and go "that sucks, man", I can pause just long enough to reflect on my own love language with my children and recognize yet a greater love pouring through God's word. This is quickly followed suit by the Proverbs verse "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding."
How often is God's truth touchy-feely warm and fuzzy? Sometimes it can be and sometimes it is bold, just and hard to face. But it is ALWAYS fair. Always.
Can you imagine being true friends with one another in being that same way? Can you imagine putting an end to assumptions and being truthful and honest in the spirit of love because we loved eachother that much? The closest friends in my life are the ones who can say "Hey Rita, what you just said kinda stung, not too sure why but it's not sitting well with me." Rather than let distance grow between us from what does NOT get said, they closed in the gap by saying something! Something important that we can work with!
This is just like when I teach the kids about a mistake they've made in their homeschooling books. Sometimes they catch it themselves and I usually stop and take a moment to commend them on the depth of what they've just accomplished.
"Ethan, how did you find that mistake?"
"I looked over my page to see if I did anything wrong."
"Did you make a mistake?"
"Yep, right here."
"Did you fix it?"
"Would you have found that mistake if you weren't looking for it?"
"So do you think it's important to look for our mistakes?"
"So that we can fix them and make them right."
Can you imagine loving each other so much that we are constantly asking ourselves "Where have I made a mistake?" To invite feedback from your friends when they take that scary step of actually being honest with you about hurt feelings? To see that the feedback comes from their belief that they LOVE you and think it's worth taking that scary step BECAUSE you're worth FIGHTING FOR?
Can you imagine what this world would be like if instead of running away from honesty (tactful honesty... otherwise you're using "truth" for the purpose of being hurtful), we embraced it and took it at its face value? A language of great love?
So my darling friends, both known and unknown, may this find you asking yourselves "where have I made mistakes and how can I make them right?" And in that moment of angst (cuz it's never fun finding out we did something wrong), I pray you find peace in knowing you CAN make it right. If you've hurt someone, you can reach out in the great love language of truth and humility (cuz the two always go hand in hand) and say "I'm sorry." Anytime I have resisted saying I am sorry, it was because I loved my ego more than the person I had hurt...(speaking of humility and truth going hand in hand... sucks to admit that).
My dear ones, do not make these same mistakes as mine. Love each other more than your egos and rise above on wings of eagles! That great love language begins with our own willingness to look at our own actions to see where we made mistakes. Consequently, this means we stop pointing out where other's made their mistakes and ask where we've made ours.
Accountability always leads to resolution... if not with the other person (because it is their choice whether they will hold on to bitterness or forgiveness), at the very least the resolution is worth reaching within your own heart. Afterall, in Matthew 5, Jesus reminds us that offering our gifts to the Father is pointless UNTIL we have made things right with our brother(s).
It means being willing to FIGHT for what is right, which could entail a little fight but one worth having for the purpose of making things peaceful in the end.
I love you all and may the Lord bless and keep you and love you so abundantly as to discipline you without getting the response "Hey man, that sucks!" But rather, "Hey, thanks for knowing I'm better than this and not settling for anything less from me. You must love me very much."
And indeed, He does.