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Friday 8 February 2013

A Driver for the Driver?

Melina had a scheduled surgical appointment this morning to get her wisdom teeth taken out.  It would require being put under which means a designated driver.  So she was put under in the chair and the whole procedure took less than an hour.  Everything was ticketeeboo... I was sipping on my coffee trying to catch up with emails on my iPhone and then they called me in to see her and discuss care and maintenance over the next few days.

Well, I'm assuming you all know me well enough by now to know that I have a VERY active imagination fuelled by super mama-bear instincts so when the dentist stops me before walking into Mina's recovery area to say "there was a mild complication" you can imagine the self-control required to ask calmly "what do you mean?"  When really in my mind I am grabbing him by the neck and bringing him nice and close to my face as I growl slowly "what did you do to my baby?"

The mild complication meant that with the pulling and stretching on her mouth, it caused the bottom left corner of her mouth to tear open.  He let me see her and as she was coming to, her eyes were rolling and looking at me not quite understanding what was going on.

Mama bear instincts heightened over time!!

And then she tried to speak but with her mouth full of gauze, it sounded more like "ma-nana-ma-ma-nana?"  As she spoke, the tear on the side of her mouth was pulling open and I started to feel very warm.  And then I started to break into a sweat.

You've got to be kidding me!  I've given birth six times including two C-sections, watched Isabel's eye laser procedure and THIS is what's going to make me faint?

The nurse was watching me closely and I asked "is it normal to feel queasy?"  To which the doctor and nurse grabbed me and laid me down on the floor with my feet in the air beside Melina's chair!  "I thought I noticed the color drain from your face" was all the nurse said.  Are you serious?  There's my baby girl bobbing her head around and mouth bleeding and I'm on the floor?  This is NOT what's supposed to happen!

"Good grief, I am so sorry!" was all I could keep saying.  The nurse smiled and said "You wouldn't believe how often this happens.  Last time I had a 6'2 father faint after his daughter's procedure and I was the one who had to catch him!  Ironically, it's usually the drivers who faint and not the patients."

Melina in all of her grogginess managed to eek out "Do I look like frankenstein or something?  Why are you on the floor?"

"I figured this was a better way to talk with you."  Watching her try to speak again and her sore opening up made me get dizzy again so I added "how about you stop talking for now, ok?"

"Do we need to call Duane to pick us up?"

NO!  Good grief this was embarrassing enough!  And that's saying a lot from this gal who has little to no boundaries nor dignity to go with it!  So there you have it, my dears... should you know of anyone bringing in their child for a wisdom-teeth removal procedure, be sure to advise them to bring TWO drivers!  In the meantime, please keep my baby girl in your prayers as she recovers.

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