Much to my husband's chagrin, I am now going to post a little rant on my frustration with his LEAD FOOT! Since we have gotten married, my darling husband (who was ALWAYS early for everything... until he met me) has accumulated approximately ten traffic infraction tickets.
Yes, you read that correctly... five or more (I have stopped counting).
Being the humble-hearted person that he is, he blames me for each of them despite the fact that I was in the vehicle for only two of them (one of them being MOTHER'S DAY...sigh). Nice try, hon!
Now you need to know something about Duane: I can count on one finger the amount of times he has gotten outwardly excitable/upset. Duane is steady like the sun. Nothing gets him worked up... except when I try to talk to him about his new expensive hobby of collecting traffic tickets.
And if I could just keep my mouth shut trusting that his ego is bruised enough with each new infraction that gets mailed in, I am sure that he would maintain his cool and calm composure. But being the extrovert that I am, I need to "express" my frustration at the fact that we actually have to BUDGET for this new-found hobby of his.
Poor Duane. He came home a few months ago looking sheepish and finally admitted that he had been pulled over for a rather LARGE speeding ticket (I seriously did not know they could legally charge us that much for a stupid ticket!). I think my husband was attempting lift-off with the speed he was going! And of course, there just had to be a lovely cop waiting like a bird of prey to scoop down and kill any potential flight with the harsh reality of LEGALITIES!
Duane insisted he would take care of it and I (being not at all a poker-faced person) clearly indicated my "okay..." to this statement with a flawed attempt at a trusting smile.
Here is a tangent for you... why o why does our lovely legal system require that we pay these traffic infractions between two specific dates that occur nearly two months down the road?? Are they plotting to have the guilty person forget to pay and incur an additional handsome fee? Will they eventually collect our children and demand ransom, too? SHEESH!!!
As the date approached, I kept reminding Duane, who of course gritted his teeth and sternly said "I SAID I would take care of it. Do you not trust me or something?"
But being the lovely wife that I am, I grinned and said "okay, hon."
And now the reason for the rant: the magical window of payment opportunity has come and gone so I simply asked Duane how making the payment went. He was quiet for a moment and then admitted he had to pay via credit card (which is an additional nominal fee, I might add) because he waited to the last minute.
And being the lovely wife that I am, I growled at him and said "SEE??? That's why I didn't trust you!" Ok, not my finest moment as a lovely wife but now do you see why I am rightly a control freak? I get things done! I meet deadlines! I make charts of my own monthly cycle for crying out loud! Wanna see our budget spreadsheet? I have scanned copies of our receipts and matching serial numbers for all items in our house! I can't be on time for anything for the life of me, but I can sure micro-manage the crap out of anything!
Yes, I need help, but that is not what we are talking about here. This is all about the fact that I was right... and Duane was wrong.
Hee hee hee... now I strongly recommend everyone step aside as I get struck by lightning!!! And why this rant now, you ask? Because I am starring down at the mail we just picked up and there in the little familiar envelope I have come to dread is yet another speeding ticket for Mr.Lead Foot himself. I am just waiting for a personally signed Christmas card from the Minister of Finance thanking us for putting thirty Canadians through college.
So here's hoping you are all safe and abiding in your local speeding limits and if you see someone zipping by at irrational speeds, smile and wave because chances are, it's my husband, Duane! Hee hee hee... and cue the lighting rod! God bless you!