Due to an additional health concern, a C-section has been scheduled for Monday morning. But if my water breaks or I go into labour prior to then, I am to make my way to the hospital ASAP for an emergency C-section.
By no means is this ideal but it's just the way God has it laid out for us. I'm having a hard time sleeping at night, too. The timing could not be worse...
Melina is starting up soccer and will be gone a couple of days per week after school plus she still has her voice lessons twice per week. Throw in a busy semester and counting on her help is pretty pointless.
Duane is anxious to get the fields ready for seeding and to fix his machines. Instead, he is pulled away from his duties (yet again) to tend to family stuff.
Thank God almighty for Antoinette and the incredible blessing she is to our household. Today, I would like to ask for your prayers to come her way as there is much that will be left on her plate while I recover from surgery... making meals is no fun with three kids whining/fighting/crying/pooping, etc... nor are Isabel runs fun to fit in three hours per day. Then there's weekly grocery shops, swim lessons, Ethan's special meals, Isabel's special care, etc... I'm just feeling anxious to heal up and not leave this all on Antoinette's shoulders!
I'd like Melina to feel like she can play soccer this year without feeling guilty for not being around to help and I'd like Duane to get the work he needs to get done without feeling like he is abandoning high demands in the house.
Needless to say, while they have me opened up, I will be asking that they tie my tubes. We are richly blessed (beyond our wildest dreams) and it's time to start living life as a family moving forward. We will trust that should there be more children in store for us, they will be brought to us by the grace of God through either foster care, adoption, etc... If God wants us to love and nurture more children, I know He'll take care of those details.
For now, we feel blessed with our beautiful children and simply cannot face the notion of ever going through what we've endured this past month and a half again. And this next month will not be easy, either.
So there you have it. I just ask that the Lord keep the Baby and me safe during this surgery and post... that He guide the hands of those working on us... and that He be with Duane as he feels helpless in this whole process. I am so incredibly blessed to have such a man at my side and I love bearing his children... but we give thanks for our four and dare not ask for more.
I have pre-recorded four nights worth of bedtime readings for my other "babies" as this has been a routine we have come to depend on (and truly love). It will be hard to be away from them so long. Anika this morning shed a few tears as she said "I'm scared that something bad will happen to you and the baby." Which meant we had a good conversation about Love and how even though you can't see it, you can feel it and know that it is very real. That even though we cannot see God with our eyes, we can see Him in His creation and feel Him in our hearts... and that should something "bad" happen to mommy and the baby, that my love would continue to be very real and present, no matter what.
Duane and I have too many wonderful visions of the future together to believe that God's plan would mean halting our togetherness at this time in our lives, but we surrender to His Will no matter what. But if Abraham could plead with God about Sodom and Gomorrah to save Lot and his family's life, then I am hoping that I can argue a little with Him about wanting to watch my babies grow, teach them His ways, play with our own grand babies some day, sharing our knowledge of sustainable farming with anyone and everyone, of laughing lots together and simply rejoicing in the Lord.
With that plea and prayer in my heart, I am hopeful that all will go very well.
May this find you all doing well and God bless you all.