Alright, now before you think there is not anything beautiful to "seek" around here, let me confess that I did not in fact get around to taking some beautiful pictures around the farm since my last post. As always, "life" swept me up and every time I thought of it, I was in the middle of cooking, or running out the door for something, or changing a diaper.
I am in awe of the mothers out there who manage their time effortlessly. Or maybe it's with a great deal of effort and self-discipline on their part... something that seems to be lacking in my life right now given the amount of rice puddings I have consumed over these past two weeks... sigh (again).
Even my conversations with God are so fragmented:
"Heavenly Father, I know I complain about... ETHAN, GET DOWN FROM THERE!... how busy my life is sometimes but I want you to know... (sniff) AH WHO JUST POOPED??... that I am truly "OUCH! WHO LEFT THE TOY ON THE STAIRS??... appreciative of the fact that my life is... HEY! I SAID THAT WAS A "NO" CUPBOARD!... truly blessed with the abundance of... MINA, CAN YOU PUT ANIKA'S PANTS BACK ON?... excitement and plethora of beautiful children. Instead of complaining, I should be... SHOOT! CAN SOMEONE GIVE IZZY HER WATER?... praising you for the gift of... WHY IS THE FLOOR WET HERE?? ANIKA, DID YOU NOT LISTEN TO YOUR BODY AGAIN??... MINA, GET THE PAPER TOWEL!!... ok, God, where was I? Oh yes, praising you for the gift of... YES ANIKA, YOU HAD CORN IN YOUR POOP. THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW... the gift of... ETHAN, NO MUDDY BOOTS IN THE HOUSE!... thank you God for the gift of... for the gift of... ARGH! Honestly God, I cannot remember what I was trying to say. Is it enough to thank you for knowing my heart at this phase in my life?? WHO LEFT BANANA ON THE FLOOR WHICH IS NOW ON MY FOOT???!!! Sigh... Amen. Sorry God, I guess I'll try to connect with you again later."
Honestly, by the end of the day, my brain starts hashing through all the conversations that were started but never ended and I wonder how many other people live in this lovely world of "intentions". It is like the tower of Babel all over again! Or at least a mother's version of it!
But even in the midst of all the chaos, Melina helped remind me of the beauty of it all the other day when she asked me, "What is the best part of being a mom?"
And in that moment (while two little ones were running around making a racket, the baby was nursing and Isabel's feeding pump alarm was going off) I shut my eyes and thought about it. There was so much to love about being a mom and finally I spoke these words (over the calamity of Ethan yelling about his toy firetruck falling over)...
"I think the best part about being a mom is being witness to all the stages of life of these precious children of God! I get to watch you guys discover God's creation... how gravity works, how the little ones discover logic (mom, if this is my pee-nis, is this my poo-nis?) - while pointing to bum, right up to the stage you are at now, Melina. Watching you discover the various aspects of truth and opinions to choose what your own values are going to be. I get to play a key role in each of you discovering 'life'. I just pray I do it in such a way that brings glory to God."
So when I am whirling with exhaustion from the hubbub of another day, I know this is just a season in our lives right now and all too soon, these precious lives will be grown and gone and I will be longing for the day when I did not have a moment's rest... when my life was wrapped around serving these precious lives with all of my heart and abilities.
My life story has an ending and life will continue through the story of my children... or rather, God's children whom He has trusted in my care... and I hope that I can face my ending with readiness and acceptance that my life has been full of God's grace and abundant in the joys of life.
And my prayer for you today is that you take a moment in the hubbub of your own chaos to reflect on what has filled the pages of your life story... that you can smile at what has made you who you are and that you can give thanks to a brilliant Creator who took the time to write that book with you. My love pours forth from these words to find you wherever you are, to love you as my brothers and sisters in God's creation. Bless you all!!