Butterfly Greetings on Shavuot / Pentecost

July 1st as we entered into Palliative Care with our darling Isabel, I quietly spoke with her about how her body is a cocoon and her spirit a fully formed butterfly... that the struggle out of the cocoon is what strengthens the wings. Thirty-five days later, as she breathed her last, a butterfly fluttered away from her window on the third floor.

Isabel’s name in Hebrew is Elisheva which means “my God” and “seven.” Isabel was born during the feast of weeks (seven cycles of seven days) and I heard God speak about His plan of love concerning her at the Jubilee underpass (seven cycles of seven years). Today is Shavuot, the completion of seven cycles of seven weeks, and look at this butterfly landing on us and blessing us with affirmation today!! Never in my life has a butterfly landed on me (and the kids), let alone do it over and over again over the course of two hours!

Gratitude bricks

I've had one of the hardest and most humbling years of my life. I feel like I'm crawling my way out of a wreckage. I am not the same person... and maybe that's a good thing.

But my flame of faith has dwindled to a flickering flame and some days I fear the slightest breeze will extinguish it. So I surrender this tiny pile of embers with nothing but hope that He will still work with what's left. Perhaps whatever fire He can set ablaze with a pathetic flame will be all the more to His glory and His alone.

I have battled in my thoughts and flesh. I have hated what I've loved and loved what I hated. I finally understand Paul's words in Romans when he talks about the battle in his flesh... that he serves the law of God with his mind, but his body/flesh wages an even harder battle. He therefore concludes his frustration that he finds himself doing that which he hates!

Confession and repentance truly are the only spiritual keys out of our own prisons. It takes being willing to lose everything for the sake of finally reconnecting with integrity to leap like a gazelle out of our transgressions.

I so desperately long for the day when this testing is completed and the victory is fully His.

Joy used to be my daily companion but it's been nearly a year since I've felt her presence. But something dawned on me today...

I went for a walk and soaked in the long awaited sunshine. Suddenly, I began to thank God for the ability to walk... and a smile began on my face... so then I thanked Him for clean air and lungs that work to nourish my body with oxygen-rich blood... and a spark ignited in my heart.

Wow!! With each tiny brick of gratitude, it's as though I began laying a foundation amidst the wreckage. Joy can only be built on a foundation of gratitude!

It's not something that you can buy or be given, it truly is a choice to create a brick out of your own willingness to SEEK and FIND what is good around you. A paradigm shift with a power that no one can take from you!

No wonder the Bible says "rejoice in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

So rather than be lost in my year of discipline from God as an erroneous message of my condemnation, I will rise with the truth that in discipline, He is CALLING us!

So my beloved dear ones, count your blessings like little bricks and watch Joy build up in your life like a lighthouse... a lighthouse where even the tiniest flickering flame can lead a ship safely home.

God bless you all!

Sand, Sin and Living Waters (Word of God)

I just remembered something I'd taught the children about four years ago...

We were on a camping trip to Kakabecca Falls and playing on the beach. The kids hands were coated with wet sand and they couldn't get it off. So I said "kids, come with me." They followed me back to the water and I said "do you see how you're covered in sand that you can't wipe off on your own? This sand is sticking to you like sin does. But God's Word is called living water. When we confess and repent of our sins, look at what happens...". With that, I put my dirty hands in the water and brought them back up completely free of any single grain of sand. The kids' eyes went wide-eyed and they quickly followed suit and marveled as their hands came back up completely clean! "Can you find any grain of sand or sin left on your hands?" They answered "no!" With a big smile on my face, I said "and that is how our God deals with our sins... once washed, they are nowhere to be found."

The LORD is gracious to bring this memory back to me today. And He is gracious to remind me of His tender mercy. He is Mighty to save and worthy of all praise. May my soul magnify His Redemptive Name!